Diaper Your Goats

I heard about this report on NPR by John Hendren recently. I do question the truth of the report for two reasons. 1. it is really hard to change diapers on goats and goats eat diapers and 2. We have thousands of people over there an no one has sent us photos of diapered goats, you would think they would be very popular on the internet. The story:

Our New Friends By Shannara Johnson

According to a recent poll conducted by Opinion Dynamics—and reported by FOX News—67% of Americans believe that the U.S. will be unable to stop a civil war from breaking out in Iraq. 3% think there is already a civil war going on. 31% say the U.S. should pull out troops gradually over the next year, while 27% vote for a complete pullout by the end of 2006.

Few Americans still believe that the U.S. occupation has improved the situation in Iraq. Constant news on Shiite/Sunni kidnappings and the increasing power of Islamist fanatics in the country have left us exasperated and confused. And the new “U.S.-friendly” Iraqi government seems questionable, to say the least.

To assess how bad the situation really is, real-life examples usually tell a better story than numbers.

On August 7, NPR journalist John Hendren reported that “Shepherds in the rural western Baghdad neighborhood of Gazalia have recently been murdered. . . for failing to diaper their goats. Apparently, the sexual tension is so high in regions where sheiks take a draconian view of Sharia law that they feel the sight of naked goats poses an unacceptable temptation.”

But it’s not only goats moving their uncovered behinds in a sensual way that irks fervent believers. Produce, too, has gotten a bad reputation.

In East Baghdad, said Hendren, “[a] grocer and three others were shot to death and the store was firebombed, because he suggestively arranged his vegetables. I couldn’t believe it at first. . . But an Iraqi colleague explained matter-of-factly that Shiite clerics have recently distributed a flyer directing grocers how to display their food. Standing up a celery stock near a couple of tomatoes in a way that might—to the profoundly repressed—suggest an aroused male is now a capital offense.”

Even though Hendren has seen a lot, the latest developments have left him speechless. “I’ve learned a new oxymoron: religious assassins. I’ve watched friends move repeatedly to stay ahead of attacks by insurgents. And now Iraqis are dying over goat panties and naughty veggies.”